Being Motionally Challenged
Every time somebody asks, “If you could have one superpower, what would it be?”, I instinctively respond “Teleportation”.
But it’s not for the reasons you think. Today, I will let you in on a secret. I have MOTION SICKNESS. Like a premedieval person, I am not comfortable with moving vehicles. They make me nauseous and leave me wanting to puke my guts out.
And this is my outrage. At the mainstream media. At the general public discourse. That has my community under-represented.
I n the history of cinema, road trips have always been depicted as these glamorized getaways where everybody ALWAYS has fun. Food, music, profoundness. Heads out the window, hands brushing against wind.
No movie or show has ever had a protagonist going “Blaargh” out of a car window. Nobody frantically signaling to the driver to stop the car so they could barf. Nobody covered in puke, washing their faces. Nobody laying their head in a friend’s lap throughout the journey!
Imagine Farhan in ZNMD going,
“Trip pe Ondem le k chal rahe ho, toh kyu sharminda ho tum
Raste mein ultiyan kiye ja rahe ho, toh bhi zinda ho tum”
It could have single-handedly undone years of neglect and oppression against my community.
Motion sickness is one of the most embarrassing things about my life, one of my best kept secrets. How do you tell your boss they run a risk of you puking on them on a market visit, or explain to somebody on a first date why the goodnight kiss tastes weird!
Half my waking moments go in optimizing travel without cabs. The other half in defending my choices to others. Why I can come alone, why they don’t need to drop me, why I took metro for two hours when I could have very well covered the same distance in a cab in half the time! It has helped me become creative, sharp, imaginative.
It has also made me a better person. I place my trust in cab drivers even on the shadiest of routes, because I invariably pass out.
But, having motion sickness is not all sunshine and rainbows. I have had to accept I am never going to become “highly successful” because contrary to every LinkedIn recommendation, I “do not optimize” my commute time. When the world is out there multi-tasking, looking out the window smelling the roses, I am simply wishing for the ride to end.
Also, why I never know any directions. So, in my case, if I am wandering, I am probably lost.
Motion Sickness is a big part of who I am, and it has helped shape every aspect of my life. And today, I call on all the Motionally Challenged to unite, and demand for the rightful representation we have been deprived. Damned be the roads, damned be the roadies!