The Adulting Paradox

My 5-year old nephew cried for a full 15 minutes today, because I ate all his grapes.

Do you remember the time when life used to be that simple?

I have been an “adult” for a better part of the decade now, meaning I now know more than what I did 10 years back. And yet somehow, I feel more lost than ever.

It’s as though nobody prepared me for this. It started as assisted skydiving. And just as you started hovering and enjoying the view, they left you alone. And took your parachute too.

As a kid, a 20-year old looked like somebody in control. Somebody who knew things, somebody who knew what they were doing. A “grown-up”.

And yet, at 27, I see most people my age simply “winging it”. Stumbling by.

University? Sure. Degree? Why not! Job? Bring it on.

Marriage. Kids. House. We are all touching one goalpost after another, without fully realizing why or how.

As a kid, you are handed life on a platter. You go to school, play with your friends, finish your homework, do your chores, make your bed, sleep. Repeat.

And then one day, you are living alone. And doing taxes. Booking doctor appointments. Comparing prices for a hand blender. Deciding which mattress to buy, which credit card to get.

You go from being Rachel Greene to becoming Monica Geller in 60 seconds.

Honestly, I think, everybody is simply faking at adulting. Even our parents. They are all acting as if they have this game all figured out, and they know exactly what their next move is going to be. When in reality, they are all just “winging it”. Simply tossing a coin in the air and hoping it lands.

They conduct an experiment. If they succeed, they claim to have known the model all along. Have the “Subject Matter Expertise”. If they fail, they discredit the model and start all over again. Until they get it right.

That’s why adults make such a big deal about perseverance. It’s not a virtue, it’s a basic life skill.

So, what should one do then? How do you go about the transition? Soften the blow?

I think we should completely eliminate the concept of adulting. There should only be children- small ones, fairly young ones, middle aged ones and the old ones. Simply remove the burden of responsibility. The burden of knowing.

Treat everybody as if they need to know nothing. As if they need constant supervision and counsel. As if their grapes could be preyed upon, and they wouldn’t know what to do but cry!