The Way I See You

Some miseries are greater than other miseries. True or False?

One may argue that this statement is in poor taste as everybody has a different journey, their hardships are different, and their struggles can’t be compared. To say one misery is greater than another is trivializing a complicated subject, to say the least.

I beg to differ.

I believe there is an absolute answer to this question.

There is one thing that is the greatest form of misery- one that truly makes you helpless.

Seeing a loved one suffer and not be able to help them.

Care to up the ante?

The thing that they are suffering from is preventable/ controllable/ mitigatable. And yet suffer they do.

It could be anything- an addiction, a disease, a bad relationship, a life of crime.

I am cognizant I may be oversimplifying here. But I fail to understand why some wonderful, capable people ‘refuse’ to choose themselves. Refuse to live their best life.

How can somebody’s self-esteem (or lack thereof), their fears, their familiarities, their grief be so potent as to make them not choose themselves day after day? How can they possibly believe they don’t deserve better?

The conundrum baffles you. Because like many other real-world problems, this just does not make sense. How can YOU go about your life pretending everything is okay and living your best life when people you love are suffering everyday?

Well, you COULD help them.

You could talk to them, educate, and empower them. You could take them to therapy or just show them how much you love and believe in them.

But would that change their life?

Maybe. Maybe not.

What do you do then?

Explain to yourself that no matter how intertwined, it is somebody else’s life, and you have but limited/ no control; make your peace with it and just be there for them. And WAIT.

Hope that one day, they are able to see themselves the way you see them. And WAIT.

Hope that one day, they are able to see the suffering their suffering is causing the people who love them. And WAIT.

Wait PATIENTLY for the day they come to you for help.

And know in your heart that day may never come.

And be okay with it.

But pray nevertheless.